Many days ahead....

Just got home from school and i feel like life's not that bad after all....its been such a long time since i blogged cos i was going through a period of mourning.....i was like mourning and sulking since that incident all the way through my exams and even after my exams......i even contemplated quiting my course......*sigh* but i had to stay on cause i promised my grandparents that i would get my diploma and graduate the same time as my aunt who's the same age as me....

what was i mourning about? a loss of friendship with the world's nicest and most sincere people i met in my poly...was really sad to lose it cause they were really fun people to be with......its all my fault...i didn't know how to appreciate them....=/ but no point crying over spilt milk.... i can only pray to god for strength to continue on with the last 6 months of my course and hope that i would have the courage to say i'm sorry again when i meet them in future....cause chances are they are still mad at me for the things i did...*Sigh*

ohwell....enough of this mopping around my aunt ever said what's done is done and there's nothing i can do to change the fact that i let them down....soo.....time to put my energy to more a productive use like doing more research and gathering more information for my fyp....i've let so many people down already so i can't let this two in my fyp group down too....cause the fyp is like the MOST important project of my whole poly life...it actually makes the end of my course when its done... its like the last major project i'll have to do in my whole 3 years and it is crucial that we get the grades that we want....especially so for ba...cause she wants to go to the U right after poly while i want to work for like 3-4yrs 1st to save the money for my tuition fees before i can go there....

i almost died of shock when i found out from denise that i needed to have at least $80K in my bank account before i can go into a full time degree course and thats provided i can get into a 3 yr course and graduates after the 3 yrs....80k is such a humongous sum for someone who's not working but already in debt like me.....=(
i'm so young and already in debt cause of my dad wants me to get a bank loan to pay for my own poly fees......poor me...its getting harder and harder for me to get to my goal....*sigh*

i need to go out i need to go see the crowds and know what its like to be among the crowds again....i'm so bored and lonely going to school and staying home the whole time... ah...when is my baby waking up...he's been sleeping since last afternoon....shall i go wake him up?...maybe i should...sleeping too much is bad for him...