workworkwork......woes....

i'm pissed...i'm freaking pissed....so much on my mind and so little time to think...as usual...but i can't help feeling pissed...
every time i rest or chill someone will come along and ask "so what are you going to do with your life now?" like what the F**k is their problem... i thought i set a one year grace for myself to think through my next step? i am afterall entitled to think what i want for myself....the f*cking decision i make affects me and i only owe my future to myself... so i have to think carefully...
i'm not the yound gullible one to get conned into "making decisions" made for me by my parents...like my stupid course...F*ck this stupid diploma was a waste of my time...i don't think i need to spend three F-king yrs studying how to look after those things...any brain dead moron could have done it....others spent 3 mths learning the thing i spent 6mths in class for struggling to keep awake #$%^(&@^#&@#...

i need time... i need some time to think what i want and how can i find the things i want in my life... why can't those ppl just spend one minute using their brains to recall how lost and irritated they felt when they had to make a life changing decision...and i not entitled to think? don't i deserve a little rest or credit for being able to juggle my driving with tuitions and part time job as a means of keeping myself occupied and also earning some extra dough for my own expenditures?
i do right...coz even though it sounds easy its f-king hard and tiring to juggle so many things at a go and strive for the best...feels like i'm leading a double life coz one job requires me to be outspoken and friendly approaching ppl and all while the other requires me to be serious, strict and understanding while helping ppl out...
feeling so stressed and tired i feel like finding some super soft toys to throw...find that after a few rounds of throwing toys i feel better coz all the pent up anger and frustrations from my work is released....really quite worried that i'll turn into my version of violence but i can't help feeling like an angel...coz i don't breaking anything and stuff unlike some stupid idiots who likes throwing expensive stuff and breaking them in the process.....that's pure stupidity coz after the throwing session they feel the guilt of spoiling a wonderfully made creation....

here are the things i need to do before the end of the year and i want to plan how i want to do it myself....

• family problems
• fix the com
• Clear my studyroom
• Clear my room
• Get my license
• Compile my own mini-wellbeing encyclopedia
• choose between getting a job or furthuring my education
• choosing what job or course i want to do and @ where...
• that's all for now

oh...and almost forgot to mention that i adopted 2 more hamsters from my father... they've yet to be named but one's a girl while the other's a boy....they're quite fierce coz they almost died from neglect at my father's house...saved them and hope that they'll be tamer within this month coz violent hamsters are stressful to watch and look after and its not as if i'm not stressed enough.... not sure what to call them...coz my first two bois are called biscuit tan weiwei and cookie tan yangyang... lolx...love-em to bits...
they're so cute and adorable... feeling guilty for not being able to spend longer hours with them so i keep buying them new toys....

so many commitments....i feel like i'm about to go bonkers...